Mail Call
by Kadi
Rated: PG

Note: In the tradition of J/C Padd fic....

Disclaimer: The following email segments are 100% ficticious, and are in no way to be construed as "real".



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From: Mulgrew, K.
To: Beltran, R.
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:29
Subj: Can I kill him?

Have you seen the script changes? What is he, sadistic or just stupid? He had better hope to hell he's not on set tomorrow, I don't think I'll be able to refrain from rearranging his parts. He's argued every time we've tried to go this route, now at the last minute he's turning my Kathryn into a slut.

::Sigh:: I'm cranky now, want to come cheer me up?

-K

--

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." 


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From: Beltran, R. (personal punching bag)
To: Mulgrew, K. (always cranky)
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:35
Subj: Re: Can I kill Him?

Yes, I've seen it. I actually thought it was kind of funny. I'm getting more than 3 minutes of screen time, it works for me.

And I'm not sure if it's safe to be anywhere near you at the moment. Besides, what would your husband think?

R.

--

"I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won."


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From: Mulgrew, K. (lonely)
To: Beltran, R. (better get his ass over here)
Sent: 11/16/2002 3:39
Subj: Re: Can I kill Him?

What husband?

Oh! Him! Almost forgot... Like I know, he's not here.

What are you waiting for?

-K

--

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." 

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From: Beltran, R. (smarter than his character)
To: Mulgrew, K. (deal with it)
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:42
Subj: How stupid do you think I am?

Just because I play an dumb ox, doesn't mean that I am one.

R.

--

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright 
until you hear them speak."

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From: Mulgrew, K. (pouting)
To: Beltran, R. (meanie)
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:47
Subj: You just want to hear me beg...

Which, you're not going to. Have it your way.  Oh, and I took out that little blue number you liked so much too.

-K

--

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." 


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From: Beltran, R. (Determined)
To: Mulgrew, K. (spoiled)
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:52
Subj: But it's sexy when you beg...

I actually prefer you out of the blue number.

R.

--

"I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won."

******

From: Mulgrew, K.
To: Beltran, R.
Sent: 11/16/2001 3:56
Subj: Who said I was wearing it?

Who said I was wearing anything? I love it when I have the house to myself...

-K

--



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From: Beltran, R. (must be insane)
To: Mulgrew, K. (wanton sex fiend)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:02
Subj: Re: Who Said I was wearing it?

Well if I come over to cheer *you* up, what exactly is in it for me?

R.

--



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From: Mulgrew, K. (Wanton Sex Goddess)
To: Beltran, R. (Undeserving Slave)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:07
Subj: (No Subject)

Are you sure you're not Chakotay? You're starting to sound awfully dim.

What's in it for you, if you cheer *me* up?

Who said I was the only one that was going to be getting up?

-K

--

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."


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From: Beltran, R. (Only slightly Insulted)
To: Mulgrew, K. (Queen Bitch)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:10
Subj: Re: [No Subject]

That's what you said the last time.

R.

--

"I love my job. That's why I'm carrying a gun."


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From: Mulgrew, K. (Damned Straight!)
To: Beltran, R. (I'll kiss it make it better...)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:14
Subj: How Could I know?

You're the one that forgot to lock your trailor door.

-K.

--

Impotence: "Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."

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From: Beltran, R. (Promise?)
To: Mulgrew, K. (Like you'd let me forget...)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:20
Subj: Trailor Doors

Sorry, my hands were full.

R.

--

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you."

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From: Mulgrew, K. (Getting Impatient)
To: Beltran, R. (Latino Sex God)
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:23
Subj: Re: Trailor Doors

Well I would have warned you, but my mouth was full.

So are you coming or not?

-K

--

Space for Rent

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From: Beltran, R.
To: Mulgrew, K.
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:26
Subj: Re: Trailor Doors

Not yet...


R.

--

"I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won."


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From: Mulgrew, K.
To: Beltran, R.
Sent: 11/16/2001 4:30
Subj: Re: Trailor Doors

I knew you'd see things my way.

See you in 30?

-K

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

******

From: Beltran, R.
To: Mulgrew, K.
Sent: 11/16/2001
Subj: Re: Trailor Doors

20.

R.

--

"God created woman to give man something to do."

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Fin~ (for now *eg)